|When you want your clothes sexy and soft and smooth.|
|"Alfred, I left my house key in my other Utility Belt. Let me in. I see you sitting |
back there sipping my 100-year-old brandy, you wrinkled old piece of beef jerky!"
|She sure seems excited about getting that new lightbulb.|
|Look at the way it's just sitting there, trying to look all innocent. It's definitely up to no good.|
|I've never been so afraid of a hamburger in my life...|
|A unique conversation piece for...you and the person in there watching you poop?|
|Egyptian cigarettes. They taste like you're smoking cork, but the |
boxes have pretty pictures on them.
|However, getting your front tire stuck in the storm drain|
and flying into oncoming traffic, isn't.
|If there's a twenty-year age difference between you,|
probably not. But I'm more concerned with what
the deal is with that drawing of a man/woman.
|Smoke the right unfiltered cigarette and the girls will be all over you--|
at least until you start coughing up bloody chunks of your lungs.
|New for holiday gift giving--My Little Death Dealer.|
|I don't think this magazine is for me if it's going to make me look like him!|
|Well, I like dinnertimin' and anytimin' eating too! Do you suppose they|
would let me in, even though I'm a caucasian?
|I've never tasted it, but if I had I'm sure this would be my favorite orange soda of all time!|
|The hero of children and matches--what a perfect|
combination. Superman isn't afraid of fire, so
your napping father shouldn't be either!
|He patrols the city by night and the beaches by day--when does|
Batman find time to sleep?
|A television that shows color pictures and stands on legs? Talk about|
a fad that will never catch on!
|Music and video playing at the same time? Another crazy fad!|
|Well, she likes to macrame, never brushes her hair, grows enough pot to supply|
the family and trade for food, doesn't shave her legs or pits, and only bathes on
every other Thursday, so I'm thinking that I do have the right kind of wife.
|Now THIS is our ticket to success--a telephone you dial with|
computer key cards. It's the wave of the future so I sold the house
and all out stocks and we're going to ride this wave to success!
|Who knows what evil lives in the hearts of chairs? Umm...this guy does.|
|Yeah, these look like they were imported straight from Whore Island!|
|I love waking to the smell of melting plastic and burning cardboard. It makes|
me glad to be a man--specifically a fireman.