Bad cats, bad cats, what'cha gonna do?

No root canal for me today. The dentist's receptionist called me this morning to report that the dentist's cat bit him yesterday and now his hand has swollen up like a sausage.

The same thing happened to me a few years ago. I was goofing around with one of our cats and he got a little bit out of control and bit me on the hand hard enough to reach the muscle. Cat spit is so toxic that by the next day my hand was three times fatter than normal.

Cats suck sometimes, but they're still smarter than most dogs.

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Two-thirty. Get it? Tooth-hurty! Get it now?

I have to go to the dentist tomorrow to get my second root canal done. I'm not stressing, though. The technology available to today's dentist has improved by leaps and bounds compared to just a few years ago. The worst part about getting a procedure done these days is having to hold your mouth open for a half hour or so.

I like my new dentist so much I trusted him to stick his fingers inside my daughter's mouth. She had a couple of small cavities on each side of her mouth and she walked out of the dentist's office a whole lot happier than I did when I was a kid. Dentists were barbarians back then. They hardly ever washed their hands and if you asked for Novocain before the drilling started they would sneer and call you a little baby.

Great Expectations...

Nuts! I have to stop listening to people hyping movies.

If I hear enough positive buzz about a movie I build up all kinds of unrealistic expectations for it. Expectations that can never be reached, unless I directed the movie myself.

I’ve heard nothing but good things about the horror movie Slither. It was written and directed by James Gunn, who wrote the screenplay for the most excellent Dawn of the Dead. (He also wrote both of the Scooby-Doo movies, but we all have to pay the rent sometimes, right?)

Earlier today the family and I were out picking up some last minute Halloween gear. I saw Slither in the new releases section of the home video of Wal-Mart. We had talked about renting it for a fun Halloween movie to watch while giving out candy, but I figured there were probably a few other people who might have that idea, so I bought it.

We got about halfway though it when I paused to go to the bathroom and to switch the laundry. (For some reason Dakota’s P.E. clothes never seem to make it into the wash until Sunday night, and I seem to be the only one concerned with getting them washed and into her backpack by bedtime Sunday night.) When I got back to the living room I saw that Dakota had gone to her room to take care of something and Valarie was getting ready to go upstairs to read for a while. She told me to go ahead and finish watching Slither with Dakota was gone for almost a half an hour so I figured we were done for the night. I cleaned up the kitchen and started getting ready to go up and read for a while myself.

The movie turned out to be some harmless, lightweight horror fluff. It wasn’t bad by any means, but it certainly wasn’t as much fun as I’d expected. Plus I was kind of annoyed because I specifically picked the widescreen version of the full screen version, but what was inside the widescreen box was the full screen version.

As I was getting ready to shut down the television I caught the beginning of a noir-looking movie about pool hustlers. It starred Freddie Prinze Jr., but it also featured Ving Rames. It started out sort of interesting, but quickly fizzled. Then Dakota came out of her room and asked if we were going to finish Slither. I hemmed and hawed for a minute, but then I gave in.

The movie ended pretty much the way you’d expect.

Again, it wasn’t horrible. I probably would have liked it more if I hadn’t heard word one about it. If the DVD had been the widescreen version I’d wanted I probably would have slid it into an open slot in our DVD collection, but it isn’t so I didn’t. I’ll bring it back to Wal-Mart and either get my money back or exchange it for something else.

Any suggestions?