"I demand that you feed me now, human, or feel my wrath!"

After three days of consecutive lying, the experiment proved successful. Unfortunately more than just test subject's pants caught fire.

***ATTENTION! The use of firearms is expressly forbidden on the Jurassic Putt miniature golf course. The dinosaurs aren't real, you idiot--and you're going to have to move your helicopter so the next group of players can come through!***

Hal's new book on mixing cocktails was so helpful that Hal, his boss, and his brother-in-law Phil became raging alcoholics by the end of the week.

That's just great! Look what's moved in next door. There go the property values.

Luckily it's that 'dry heat' people are always talking about, so you won't be sweating like a pig while waiting to burst into flames.

Whew! What a great day to have been stuck in traffic!

If you're a writer who is having a little trouble getting their story moving, here's a bit of a cheat sheet to help motivate you by the talented Tom Gauld..

Well, this is a no-brainer. A quality Adola brassiere and change back from your dollar? Count me in!

Come on, Larry. It's the Arctic--share the wealth!

Big Chief Lickin' Bottom was recently kicked out of his tribe for skimming casino funds to buy personal cat toys.

While he isn't busy beating the tar out of Batman, Bane practices his wicked air guitar skills.


According to the Road Runner, here are nine simple rules to success.

  1. The road runner cannot harm the coyote except by going “beep-beep!”
  2. No outside force can harm the coyote - only his own ineptitude or the failure of the Acme products.
  3. The coyote could stop anytime - if he were not a fanatic. (Repeat: “A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim.” - George Santayana)
  4. No dialogue ever, except “beep-beep!”
  5. The road runner must stay on the road - otherwise, logically, he would not be called road runner.
  6. All action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters - the Southwest American desert.
  7. All materials, tools, weapons, or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the Acme Corporation.
  8. Whenever possible, make gravity the coyote’s greatest enemy.
  9. The coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures.