The poor thing is scared brickless!

Revenge is a dish best served on a truck bumper.

Good grief--we need a real superhero, not a blockhead!

Coolest photo of the day. Um, I mean night.

Please click here for a much larger version of this glorious image.

It's not a real wedding until the chastity belt comes off!

It's very simple, really...

I don't know the artist but I do know this makes me happy.

It's going to be a busy day, so let's eat all our veggies and go get 'em, team!

Have you ever heard of Audrey Kawasaki? You have now. I think she's fantastic.

Have you noticed anyone...or anything watching me? Are you sure?

Click image to make larger unless you eat a lot of carrots.

Here's a bit of Zombie fun. I wish I knew who the artist is so I could give them credit.

Scientists do a lot of important things, but sometimes they just like to screw around and have fun.

I won't miss bowl haircuts but no football is going to hurt.

I guess this just about covers it.

Even barnyard animals should brush often.

When I attempt to admire her costume I keep getting distracted by slippers the guy behind her is wearing.

Click for a larger image!

Having a crummy day? Me too. Give this a look and see if it helps.

Click to see larger version.

Hmmm...looks like that German family is moving.

Talk about one-stop shopping! Amazon has all my beauty needs covered.

Say what you want about Canada, but at least the kids... well.. aw, go ahead and say what you want about Canadians.

I forgot the question again. Oh, well...what's the answer?

Is this an invitation or a warning?

Perhaps they're not words to live by, but they're good words none the less.

Are you sure 'The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew get Shipwrecked on Blue Lagoon Island' is checked out?

"Whoa, what time is it, dude?" "I dunno...orange, maybe?"

Or the clothes of a trusted friend.


Needless to say, the Mullet is the house specialty!

If I pass do I have to leave right away?

How come Hollywood isn't making better use of Jon Hamm? Put him in a high-octane action flick! Stuff him into a superhero suit! Come on!

Julia Roberts and I are both left-handed. Now we'll have plenty to talk about if we find ourselves stranded in an elevator together.

I've never been that happy receiving a prostate exam. That doctor must know what she's doing.

Welcome to South Dakota! Now keep those shirts tucked into your underwear!

Again? Did anyone write it down last time? Someone must remember what it was...

Black Dynamite was a fantastically fun movie and now I hear they're working on an animated series. Could be fun.

I'll see you later in the cardiac ward.

If I'm needed I'll be in stately Schiller Manor.

Having a baby but don't want to settle on a common name like Chip, Ernie, Buffy or Cissy? Check out this list for ideas!

Click on the image twice to make it readable, unless you're Superman.


Anybody can do this, but this guy's claim to fame is that the bottle was full when he started.

I believe I have a drinking problem. I am out of liquor.

I personally believe that the use of a cork diminishes the fruity flavor of a fine wine.

Indignation knows no boundaries. It's shared by all species.

Kids have it too easy today! Why, in my day you had to peel 'em by hand!

Self enlightenment is a beautiful thing.

I hope they take the news well.

Those three are constantly going at it!

Where do astronauts hang out at?

Garfunkel could have made it on his own without Simon, if he'd kept that wicked mustache.


  1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
  3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
  4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
  7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
  8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
  10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
  12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
  16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  18. Honk and wave to strangers.
  19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  21. type only in lowercase.
  22. dont use any punctuation either
  23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
  25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
  27. Ask people what gender they are.
  28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  30. Sing along at the opera.
  31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
  32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."