Temporarily off track but departing soon.
Do you ever find yourself on the outside looking in? All our lives are on a track, path, course, whatever you call it, and every day we travel along on it. But once in a while you hit an unseen bump and you're slightly off your track, spinning your wheels on the side of the road. Everyone and everything is moving along as it should be, but now you see it all from a slightly different perspective than usual. There's an odd sense of detachment that accompanies this feeling. You're backstage at a theater and everyone is scurrying around getting in position to play their parts. Or for the first time you see the forrest and not just the trees. I've slipped off my track today. Do you know how people look at your when you've had a few cocktails and you can swear they can tell you're kinda sloshed but in reality it's all inside your head. I've had the feeling that everyone I've been in contact with today can tell that there's something a little different with me. Or perhaps that's just that paranoia I was mentioning. My brain acts peculiarly to stress--both real and imagined. I've got a big job coming up down the road and my brain may be switching into gear early--to avoid the Christmas rush, if you will. I have the skills and ability to do this work, but that's not going to stop my brain from fretting about it before the fact. That's just the way my brain is wired. Thank goodness I have a wife who is adept at putting my little wagon back on track. As the years have passed my daughter is demonstrating a knack for it as well. I'm the only enemy I've ever had. It's a simple statement but it refuses to stay put in my brain. I've probably lost most of you by now, but for those who stuck around, thanks for listening.