I apologize in advance...


-Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo pi

-Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach turtle

-2,000 pounds of Chinese Soup: won ton

-16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling

-2.4 miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

-Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

-365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite year

-1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

-1 million aches: 1 megahurtz

-1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

-Half of a large intestine: 1 semi colon

-Time between slipping on a banana peel and striking pavement: 1 bananosecond

-1 billion piccolos: 1 gigolo

-1 millionth mouthwash: 1 microscope

-1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 fig Newton

-1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles

-Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: 1 knot-furlong

-Shortest distance between two jokes: a straight line

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