I'm torn...

As I plod along, healing from the big stupid sickness that almost killed me, I'm torn over if I should write or not. I am a writer. It's just about all I know how to do. I think.

But I really don't feel like writing. With the exception of scribbling down stray ideas in the spiral notebook on my night stand, I have no desire to sit down at the computer and let my fingers fly like in the old days.

I've tried a couple of times and the result read like I was typing with a pair of boxing gloves on. I don't have the internal drive I used to have. But I'm torn because I think I should write anyway, even if it is nothing but crap, to try and get my head back in the game. I honestly feel like I should just stay away from the computer and wait. I should keep taking the bucket of pills the doctors give me and stretch out on the couch until I build myself back up both in body and mind.

I've got a really great concept for a new young adult novel that I'm dying to write, but I know if I try to pound it out it's going to read like it was written by a sick dude who's brain is fogged in by the many drugs he's forced to take.

I think I'll wait. I'll do my physical therapy exercises and work to work on building back up my core strength, and then I'll plop down on the couch and play some tennis or golf on my WII until it's nap time. Hey, speaking of Wii, which I just was, does anyone have any games they wanna loan me for a week or two? Money is tight these days so I haven't been able to buy any or even rent them. I'll take good care of them if they can come over and visit.

Speaking of money, so far the bills for my month-long hospital visit is nearing $800,000 bucks. Cool, eh? Although it would be really bitchin' if it his an even million. Even with Blue Cross covering the majority of the bill, my end is going to take a few dozen years to pay off.

I'm tired. Be good, y'all.

Good lord I complain a lot. Did you ever notice that? I did.