Decadent collector that I am...

The other night Val and I wanted to see a movie so we checked out some of our DVDs.

Between homemade discs, boxed television series and plain old movies, our DVD collection is becoming so large I'm afraid that it will one day sink into the center of the earth. If Paul Mounts' collection sinks I know ours is not too far away. I should thin out my collection, maybe trade them in for new ones, but I like them all. Here are some of my favorite movies;
- The Simpsons Movie
- Minority Report
- Stealth (I've got a soft spot for talking airplanes)
-Transformers
- The Incredibles
- Payback (The new one with Mel)
- Hellboy 1 & 2
- Hulk (I like both but I lean more towards the Ang Lee version)
- Dark City
- I am Legend
- Sin City
- King Kong (I'll watch all three versions)
- Kill Bill 1 & 2
- The Bourne Movies (But the first remains the best)
- Godzilla (Any and all of them. Even the one with Ferris Bueller in it.)
- Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (Although these days I always wonder what Mr. Rooney has stashed in his desk drawer.)
- Predator (This movie is sooo much better than people give it credit for. I’ll usually stop for the sequel as well, but it pales compared to the first.)
- RoboCop (Always the first one in the series, most times the second one, and the third one only if no one else is in the room.)
- Nightmare Before Christmas
- Once Upon a Time in Mexico
- Iron Giant
- Life of Brian
- Mission Impossible 3
- Bocky 1-4
- Finding Nemo
- A Shot in the Dark (As well as any of the Pink Panther movies with Peter Sellers in them.)
- The Fifth Element (Bruce Willis doesn’t get more charming than here. My favorite dialogue exchange happens at the ticket counter. “We’re newlyweds. Just met. You know how it is. We bumped into each other, sparks happened…”“Leeloo Dallas mul-ti-pass.””Yes, she knows it’s a multipass. Anyway, we’re in love.”
- Independence Day (Yes, you read right, and no, I haven’t been drinking gasoline.)
-The Green Mile
- Resident Evil
- Moulin Rouge
- Terminator 1-3
- Stargate
- Nighmare Before Christmas
- Ronin (a great movie that never found the right audience)
- Pitch Black
- Near Dark
- Galaxy Quest
- Stuck On You
- Memento
- What's Up Tigerlily?
- Kung Pow
- Lord of the Rings (Any of the three but especially the third.)
- Star Wars (Any of the six, even with JarJar.)
- Smokey and the Bandit (This one worries me a tiny bit. But not much.)
- The Hustler (Newman + Gleason + Pool = Cool)
- The Great Escape
- The Conehead Movie (Once I gave it a chance I was hooked for life)
- Rocky (I’ll check out any of the first four, but the second one is my favorite and I’ll watch if from start to finish.)
- Sky Captain
- My Neighbor Totoro (as well as Kiki's Delivery Service)
- Fat City (It’s from the 70s and Stacy Keach plays a washed up boxer who tries for a comeback.)
- Planet of the Apes (I’ll take a peek at any of them, but only stay for the first one.)
- The Cincinnati Kid (Steve McQueen burns up the screen, and Ann-Margret is so damn sexy she practically leaves puddles of lust behind wherever she goes.)
- Fail-Safe
- Dr. Strangelove
- Disney's Beauty and the Beast
- Flight of the Phoenix (I’ll stop and watch the remake as well.)
- When Worlds Collide (Great concept, pretty good execution, not much cheese.)
- Alien (All of them. Even Alien Vs. Predator.)
- The Omega Man (I wish it were on right now. I should go check. Nope.)
- Monsters, Inc.
- Raiders of the Lost Ark (I’ll check out any of them, but he second one still leaves me cold, even after years of trying to like it.)
- Buckaroo Banzai (Flawed, but an A+ for effort.)
- Key Largo (Bogart does his best work in this film.)
- Journey to the Center of the Earth (I refuse to eat goose pate even to this day. Poor Gertrude.)
- Jaws
- Five Million Years to Earth (Part of the Hammer Quartermass series. A childhood favorite that I still cherish today.)
- Mysterious Island (I don’t care if it ignores the book. I still hold it precious.)
- Firefox (Clint Eastwood speaking Russian AND flying the fastest jet on the planet? Count me in!)
- Our Man Flint (Hey buddy, got a light? Oww!)
- To Sir With Love (Those schoolgirl days…)
- The Road Warrior (Not a big fan of the first Mad Max film, but I’ll always stop for this one and Beyond Thunderdome.)
- The Verdict (of the Newman/Redford team I always liked Paul Newman lots more)
- Army of Darkness (As well as Evil Dead 2)
- Blazing Saddles (As well as Silent Movie, Young Frankenstein, and The Producers.)
- Hair
- Johnny Dangerously
- Crimson Tide
- Around The World Under The Sea
- Silent Running (Bruce Dern as a creepy hippy trying to save the rainforest. Why not?)
- Dead Calm
- Magnum Force (Along with Dirty Harry. You got a problem with that? Well, do ya’ punk?)
- Return of the Living Dead (Smart and funny—what a combo!)
- Marooned (Gene Hackman is good in anything.)
- The Silencers (Any Matt Helm movie is worth a quick look.)
- The Birds (As well as most Hitchcock films.)
- Close Encounters of the Third Kind
- Poltergeist
- The French Connection
- Toy Story
- Slap Shot (Paul Newman at his cynical best.)
- Tobor the Great (Tobar is Robot spelled backward.)
- Inherit the Wind
- Robot Jox
- Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea

But in the end I couldn't decide so we went and saw the new Star Trek movie again. Wow, was it better on the second viewing. The whole alternate Trek universe that J.J. Abrams cooked up really made sense this time.

I guess he finally snatched the pebble from Keye Luke's palm.....

Boy he sure kicked ass in Kill Bill. He'll be missed

After the last bombastic entry in the series, do we need another? Really?

I'm still digesting the last one.

Does whatever an iron can...part deux

Only a year or so to wait. Mmmm boy.

Did you ever feel...just...weird?

That's how I feel these days. Maybe I've having another heart attack or stroke. I dunno. I don't especially feel sick, but at the same time I don't feel well either. Perhaps it's depression. I suggested that to my shrink the other day and he thought I was feeling weird because I wasn't taking my meds first thing in the morning like I'm supposed. I tried that this morning and it's more of the same. I'm not stressed or anxious about anything special. Maybe it's because I'm off all my pain meds. I have pain, but I also can now recite the alphabet and do more than simple household tasks--which I was unable to when drugged up.

I'm broken. Is there a doctor in the house?

The many (4) faces of Ahnold...

Word is they're warming up for a Total Recall sequel. Who knows why, but since when has Hollywood needed a reason for doing things?

Hey, movie over...

This weekend Val and I set a new record--two movies in one weekend. Keep in mind that both of us are in sloth mode at the moment, thanks mostly to me. We interrupted watching last season of 24 on dvd to venture out and see Sam Raimi's Drag Me To Hell and Disney's UP. Both were special and spectacular for their own reasons. You can watch UP with a limited audience, but if you're going to see Hell try to see it with a crowded house. The more the better.

Vantastic!

I just found out that my old cellmate Jim Higgins has bought himself a van. I've never owned a van, but if I did I know for a fact what I'd paint on the side of it. No lie. And I would be the coolest cat in town..

Also...

In my last post I suggested Robert Crais' novels for those looking for something to read. I would be remiss if I didn't also suggest another author I'm a big fan of--Lee Child's badass Reacher novels. There's about a dozen to keep you busy.

Wasting time, in a constructive way of course...

When I find myself unable to write, I read. These days I'm rereading the Robert Crais' Elvis Cole novels (along with the very tasty Demolition Angel). If you can't write (or draw Iron Man blasting the Blastarr) at the moment, or if you're just looking for a good read, give Crais a try..

If you can find him, you're a better man (or woman) than me...

A new way to waste my money...

Mighty Muggs are cool. I only have two of the Iron Men. The third is over a hundred bucks for some reason. I'll have to ask Santa for it.

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling just SUPER!!!

The long lost Fred Schiller...

Truth be told he may be lost but he's certainly not that long.

They just don't make me like they used to...

My suggestion is to forget everything you saw in the first three movies. Leave all that at the door, because if you expect a logical connection with the movie you’re about to see, you’re likely to be disappointed. I walked away from the theater sad and old, but that just may be me.

Your arms too short to blog with God....

Hey all. Still on the recovery trail. Writing is a tough chore that I'm not up to right now. Plenty of new movies coming out to keep me busy, though :)
Everyone stay happy and healthy, m'kay?

No Country for Odd Movie Endings...

Last year when the critics first started talking about No Country for Old Men I remember hearing that a lot of viewers were going to be on the fence about their feelings. The critics didn't give any specifics surrounding why people would feel this way, so I so I forgot about it just as quickly as I heard it.

Last night I finally got around to watching the film on DVD and now I understand. Our DVD player/recorder is a cheap model that suffers periodic bouts of heat stroke. The final five minutes of the movie was a little weird, but it always went back to where it belong. Or did it? I'm curious enough that when the film makes it onto on cable, I'll have to set it to record.

Perhaps I still have it wrong.

I'd be curious to hear other reviews--of the last five minutes or the whole thing.

Fred-o-matc

For all my snowbound friends back in Chicago...

Here are a couple of DVDs for you to either love or despise. Love me, hate me, just don't call me late for dinner.


First up is 3:10 to Yuma, a film I didn't care for the first time they did it back in 1957, but this time, with the likes of Russell Crowe and Christian Bale on board, the sparks fly. I like these two actors a great deal by their lonesome. Together they're magic.

If you're a fan of small budget films that deliver big budget results, The Lookout features a favorite up and coming actor that I'm a fan of, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (I know some of you will never forgive me for suggesting his Brick) but this kid keeps getting better and better with each film he's in.

I've been under the weather for the past few weeks so I've been at the mercy of basic cable upstairs, but lucky for me AMC has been showing Open Range (Kevin Costner's last good directorial and acting role. The man is hot as a pistol when he has a good script to work with. The other winner (overlooked) is Walter Hill's Wild Bill. I haven't liked Jeff Bridges this much in a long time.

Anyway, work if you've got it, but if time permits, load up you horse's feedbag (your own, as well) and treat yourself to a western or two.

Thanks...

Some of you know that I've been though hell in a hand basket over the past six months, First there was the pneumonia, which in time leaked out of lung and became septis. As a result, my kidneys and other major organs started shutting down. It was touch and go for a while. They put me in a coma for a while so they could try and scrape the infection out of me. Then, on top of all this, the doctors finally got around to noticing that I had suffered a heart attack and a stroke on top of all this.


Fun, right. The good news is that they determined that my heart and valves are in overall pretty good condition.

Anyway, printing and typing is a major chore, but it's somethig that I need to relvear.

Again, thanks for the kind words. They mean a lot.

Fred

Serious as a heart attack.

Hey y'all. I probably don't have much in the way of regular readers these days and I guess I can understand that. My idiotic medical woes continue. I'll post a Reader's Digest version online in the days to come, for those who give a hoot.

The Bazooka Joe comic version boils down to me resting at home, recovering from my chest and lung infection. When I wasn't looking, a mass of fluid built up in the lung again--so much so at it kicked off a minor heart attack. It was so minor that I didn't know that I'd had one until they told me in the hospital.

Anyway, I hope everyone is happy and healthy. I know that's my goal :)

I'm torn...

As I plod along, healing from the big stupid sickness that almost killed me, I'm torn over if I should write or not. I am a writer. It's just about all I know how to do. I think.

But I really don't feel like writing. With the exception of scribbling down stray ideas in the spiral notebook on my night stand, I have no desire to sit down at the computer and let my fingers fly like in the old days.

I've tried a couple of times and the result read like I was typing with a pair of boxing gloves on. I don't have the internal drive I used to have. But I'm torn because I think I should write anyway, even if it is nothing but crap, to try and get my head back in the game. I honestly feel like I should just stay away from the computer and wait. I should keep taking the bucket of pills the doctors give me and stretch out on the couch until I build myself back up both in body and mind.

I've got a really great concept for a new young adult novel that I'm dying to write, but I know if I try to pound it out it's going to read like it was written by a sick dude who's brain is fogged in by the many drugs he's forced to take.

I think I'll wait. I'll do my physical therapy exercises and work to work on building back up my core strength, and then I'll plop down on the couch and play some tennis or golf on my WII until it's nap time. Hey, speaking of Wii, which I just was, does anyone have any games they wanna loan me for a week or two? Money is tight these days so I haven't been able to buy any or even rent them. I'll take good care of them if they can come over and visit.

Speaking of money, so far the bills for my month-long hospital visit is nearing $800,000 bucks. Cool, eh? Although it would be really bitchin' if it his an even million. Even with Blue Cross covering the majority of the bill, my end is going to take a few dozen years to pay off.

I'm tired. Be good, y'all.

Good lord I complain a lot. Did you ever notice that? I did.

I've been sick...

The last six weeks have been hell, but I'm on the road to recovery and will return...unless I don't, which would be tragic, right?

Many people agree that cake is the perfect food. Who am I to disagree?

A happy surprise for me to enjoy.

The other day we were renting movies and Valarie grabbed a copy of Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto. That was fine for her, I thought, but certainly not for me. While she was watching her little slice of Mayan mayhem I could go down to the den and polish my penny collection.

Long story short, I happened to start watching it with her and I never left the room. I was captivated. In addition to a touching love story and buckets of brutal and bloody action, there was a surprising amount of humor.

How much great stuff do I miss out on due to prejudging? Probably a lot.

Please talk amongst yourselves…

The Fountain--an art house classic or a tragic misfire? Everyone I’ve discussed it with is leaning in the same direction. I think the boat is about ready to tip over.

Is there enough trunk space for a chimp and a little brat?

Rumor has it this is the version of the Mach 5 that they're using for filming the movie. It works for me.

The weirdest thing that’s happened to me today…so far…as of 4:24 pm…

So there I am, minding my own business when I receive an email from a complete stranger who requests a minor favor. No, he’s not from Nigeria and he didn’t request my social security number and bank account number. What he did request is that I sign a bunch of comic books for him.
I can’t remember the last time I had a comic published. It was either the Valiant/Voyager books or the X-Men series from the mid-90s. By that time in my life I was writing a lot of interactive computer games (where I was earning a bunch of money and getting lots of respect) and I simply didn’t have the time or energy to deal with the prima donna high school interns turned editors who were working on my books and making me jump through hoops I was too big for.

Every once in a while I think it would be fun to write another Iron Man script or come up with a new comic book universe, like the one I did at Majestic, but I do believe that ship has long since sailed. It’s such a different business these days I wouldn’t know where to begin.

Anyway, back to the favor. Because I’m stupid/smart enough to have my legit email address attached to this blog, I get some odd mail, including from my new friend Bobby from Texas who would very much like to send me a bunch of comics that I’ve written over the years for my autograph. He says he just finished up his run of Rust comics on eBay.
I don’t have a problem with people buying their favorite comic books on eBay. I buy my share of toys and more Mission: Impossible memorabilia than is probably healthy, off the site. But the notion of someone hunting down and paying three or four bucks plus shipping for some of my comics is just plain weird. Contacting me for my home address so they can get them signed is even weirder (or perhaps simply more weird).
I don’t know what to do. Texas is a healthy distance from California. Should I let him send me the books? If I do should I put out an extra plate setting for dinner tomorrow because Good Old Bobby will be here with his sawed-off and suitcase of body parts?

If I’m never heard from again, have the cops check my email account for clues to tracking down Bobby in Texas. My hotmail password is: StinkyCheesePants123Blastoff007

More cheese, please... Lots more!

Just a few days ago I was complaining about how overly long Hot Fuzz was, but that's the opposite of how I felt about Spider-Man 3. Even though it was hampered by a host of problems that would take days to nit-pick, I simply didn't care. The film had me hooked from frame one and I would have gladly sat in the theater for another three or for hours without complaining.

Everything about this movie was great--even the stuff that was crap. I haven't felt this satisfied by a movie in a long time.

Wallopin' web-snappers!

Shave the Fuzz down a little, m'kay?

It took three days of serious thinking (not counting toilet breaks) for me to figure out what was wrong with Hot Fuzz.

Are you ready?

Of course you are.

I wanted to like Hot Fuzz like a fat boy likes cake—a lot! But when the credits finally got around to rolling, there I sat broken hearted. Val was disappointed as well. I think the biggest problem with the movie was that Shawn of the Dead had made so stinkin’ much money—first in the theaters and then on video.

I think that if Shawn had been a more modest success, Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg would have been given a more modest budget for Hot Fuzz.

Hot Fuzz would have been twice as funny if it were half as long. This is my theory.

I found myself bored and checking my watch before Simon Pegg’s character finally gets shipped out of London. Sure, there were some good laughs in that sequence, but they could have simmered it down to the bare bones and delivered it to us before the opening credits were over. Then, when Pegg and his trusty plant arrive in Sandford, we have to sit through another painfully extensive sequence to introduce all the characters and settings—and wow, what a lot of characters there are.

As trim and taut Shawn of the Dead was, Hot Fuzz is flabby and lazy. There are dozens of scenes (and characters) that could have been totally excised from the film and they would never be missed.

I don’t want to sound like the nag that I am, but when Fuzz comes out on DVD it would be great if there were a version that ran about a half hour shorter.

God, what a nag I am.

X marks the Fox...

Okay, there's no debating that he's one of the most talented spinal surgeons on the planet, But, now we're also supposed to believe that he's a top notch race car driver who secretly works for a branch of the government that's so top secret that it doesn't have an offical name or designation?

I like Matthew Fox but I thought for years now that it was Vince Vaughn who was pushing to make this movie happen--just so he could play Racer X. Maybe the studio suits thought that Vaughn wouldn't be taken seriously enough.

The Incredible, Edible Hulk…

I like Edward Norton. I like him a lot. His performance in American History X chilled me to the bone and he flat out stole The People vs. Larry Flynt away from Woody Harrelson. I didn’t necessarily like Rounders and Fight Club but even so, he was great in them.

He brings an edge to his characters that many of his contemporaries are incapable of generating.

That said, do I think this immensely talented actor can successfully portray scientific dishrag Bruce Banner? Nope. Not in a month of leap years.

I think when it comes to casting for a movie or television show, you can almost hear an audible click when you find the right person for the role. Christopher Reeve as Superman--Click. Toby Maguire as Spider-Man--Click. Ian McKellen as Galdalf—Double Click. Michael Caine as Alfred Pennywise--Click. Eric Bana as Bruce Banner—A Mild Click. The cast of Sin City—Multiple Clicks. Edward Norton as Bruce Banner—Silence…Crickets Chirping…More Silence.

My movie-going Spidey sense is screaming at me that Edward Norton is dead wrong for Bruce Banner. Of course it’s betrayed me before. I never believed that Hugh Jackman was going to be a credible Logan/Wolverine. Jackman is not at all who/what I had for everyone’s favorite crazy Canadian, but I’m happy to have been proven wrong. I hope it happens again.

Kinda weird looking, but it's a start...

With any luck we'll only be seeing this suit of armor in a quick origin flashback. I'm still nervous over what the modern suit will look like. I guess I should go worry about something more important.

But still...this is Iron Man we're talking about...and there's a pretty good chance that this is going to be his only shot at a movie...so it's not too much to ask that it rock.

Sometimes it's so hard being a nerd.

Let’s forget about doing live action versions of comic books for a while…

With the advent of CG imagery, has there ever been a better time to be a movie maker, period?

Look at the colossal amount s of grief Orson Wells went through to get Citizen Kane up on the big screen. Today a fairly competent kid with a couple of jacked up iMacs could get the job done on a long holiday weekend.

Always one to do things a dollar late and typically a dollar short, I finally saw the big screen version of 300 today.

I rarely say such things, but at one point I whispered over to Valarie that there was just too damn much stuff going on. The director put the ‘bomb’ into bombastic, which is exactly what a movie like this needs, but still…my petty human brain can only wrap itself around too much stimuli. The same thing started to happen toward the end of Barman Returns.

If movie makers are going to start using these sophisticated tools, I’m going to have to start stepping up to the challenge or Watchman will put me into the hospital for the over stimulated.

Oh, in case I didn’t mention it, I thought 300 rocked.

If this isn't a hoax I'm going to be sick...

I've done a quick check of all the hoax sites and can't find any sign of this being a joke--

A father-of-two hanged himself live over the internet in Britain's first 'cyber suicide'.
Kevin Whitrick, 42, took his life after being goaded by dozens of chatroom users from across the world who initially believed he was play acting.
But as they watched in horror, Mr Whitrick climbed onto a chair, smashed through a ceiling and then hanged himself with a piece of rope.
Kevin Neil Whitrick, 42, was found dead by police in Wellington, after being alerted by a web user who is thought to have watched in horror as the man harmed himself
Stunned by what they had witnessed - broadcast on a popular chatroom website used by millions of people across the globe - chatroom users immediately contacted the police.
Officers rushed to the electrician's home in the Wellington area of Shropshire within minutes, smashing down the door to try to save him.
But despite their efforts to save him, he was pronounced dead at the scene.
Last night it emerged that Mr Whitrick had been suffering from depression after being badly injured in a car crash last year.
Friends said that the breakdown of his marriage with wife, Paula - with whom he had 12-year-old twins - and the recent death of his father had also been causing him some distress.
Mr Whitrick told users of web-chat site PalTalk what he was going to do two hours before he killed himself on Wednesday night.
He was logged on with around 50 other users to a special "insult" chatroom where people "have a go at each other".
Today distraught users of the site said that they felt sick and had previously thought the web broadcast was a hoax.
They confirmed Mr Whitrick told friends in the internet chat room of his plans to kill himself but, thinking he was joking, they egged him on telling him to make sure the his webcam was on.
Mr Whitrick, using the user-name Shyboy-17-1, switched on his webcam and went ahead with his grisly plan.
One anonymous user said: "He tied a rope around an uncovered ceiling joist and stood on the chair as he tied the rope around his neck.
"Some of us chatroom users, talking to Kevin over text chat, microphones and video tried to convince him to step down, but others egged him on telling him to get on with it.
"We just couldn't believe he was doing it - it was surreal.
"One chatter said: 'F***ing do it, get on with it, get it round your neck. For F***'s sake he can't even do this properly'."
Another user who did not wish to be named said: "When Kevin stepped off the chair and was left dangling, the mood in the chatroom changed and people began to realise what they had just seen.

And you thought George Lucas had a big goiter?

This dude from China puts Lucas to shame. The paper says that the guy lived with it for seventeen years before he decided to see a doctor about it.

If you've run out of things to collect...

I wasn't aware of the massive number of 'life masks' that were available to collect and call your own. I stumbled across a bunch of them on eBay and they run the gambit from Abraham Lincoln to Tom Cruise.

Below you'll find Angelina Jolie, Christopher Walken and David Bowie. I can only imagine what people are doing with the Jolie mask.

Eric Poulton does Steampunk Star Wars

This guy rocks my world. What a great concept. Check out his Blog for more images.

Ooooooh, that's rich...

Hey all. Do yourself a favor and get some Izzard on by watching The Riches. It's on FX and it's pretty tasty. Really.

Escape From John Carpenter

Lotsa fans of the original Escape From New York have their panties in a bunch over talks about a remake—but not me. The idea of a remake makes me as happy as a little girl.

The only John Carpenter films that I can watch repeatedly are the original Halloween and The Thing—the rest leave me cold (even Big Trouble In Little China). Sure, I kinda liked Escape From New York back in 1981, but the cheese factor in it is much too high for repeated viewings. The premise is brilliant but the execution is seriously lacking—for me. Everyone seems to be hamming it up and almost winking at the camera. Plus, I felt that Kurt Russell was too pretty and light to play a badass like Snake Plissken. The Kurt Russell I see in the upcoming Grindhouse would be perfect.

John Carpenter movies just don’t seem to have a soul. Maybe it’s me. I always get excited when I hear what his latest movie is about (like, Vampires and Ghosts of Mars) but I always walk out of the theater shaking my head. Again, maybe it’s just me.

Rumor has it that they’ve nabbed Gerald Butler to star. The dude can roar—as we’ve heard in 300—I just hope they nab some talented young buck with a bombastic directing style to bring the potential of Escape From New York to life.

An order of Ratatouille to go, please...

This is an Asian advance poster for Ratatouille. Can someone run it through Reed Richards' Universal Translator and tell me what it says?

Oh mommy...

Salma Hayek may not be the greatest actress of our time, but wow is she going to have a happy baby.

My mother never breast fed me--she said she just wanted to be good friends.

Nothing but cheese...

I grew up with two older sisters who controlled the comic book content in our house for a long time. Until I was ten or twelve the bulk of the comics I read were either Archie’s or Harvey’s.

The first Marvel comic that I got hooked on was Marvel Double-Feature, which reprinted Gene Colon’s Iron Man and Jack Kirby’s Captain America. What a combo! If this comic didn’t get you jacked up you probably didn’t have a pulse.

I wonder if way back then I would have swallowed the notion that Marvel would kill one of their cash cows like Captain America. I wasn’t the most sophisticated kid on the block back then, but I’m pretty sure that I would have guessed that the event was little more than a crass marketing ploy.

Does anyone really care that Steve Rogers is going to be killed? I know I’m getting cranky in my old age but the only good I can see coming from this will be watching the dimwits on QVC trying to sell the comics in six months.

Bah. You kids get outta my yard!

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, he's got dynamite in his pants...

Long, long ago in a far off land called New York, I worked in the DC Comics production department under the auspices of the remarkable Rick Taylor.

I took the job because I wanted to get work writing for DC and I figured working on staff would help expedite matters. (It didn’t)

The DC production department was composed of a diverse and colorful cast of characters back then. Earlier today I was thinking of one such character, the always-redoubtable Nick Napolitano. The thing that started me thinking of Nick was this stunning piece of art from the upcoming Spider-Man movie.

Pretty cool, eh? Nick and I shared a cubicle for a couple of months and while hunkered over our respective drawing tables we would combat boredom and monotony by often sharing obscure and inane bits of trivia from our pasts. One such nugget of Nick Napolitano trivia that will make me chuckle until the day I die concerned the theme song to the 1960s Spider-Man animated series. Nick confided in me that he had misunderstood the lyrics to the theme song, and for the longest time instead of “Spider-Man, Spider-Man, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!” he thought the song went, “Spider-Man, Spider-Man, he’s got dynamite in his pants!”

I can’t be too hard on Nick. I guess when you’re a kid the idea that someone with the proportional strength of a spider might need some dynamite from time to time, and hey, the last time I checked Spider-Man didn’t have any pockets in his costume, so why not slip a couple of sticks into your pants. When you’re a kid you find it much easier to justify things like that.

The devil you say...

I haven’t had the chance yet to see Mark Steven Johnson’s Ghost Rider movie, which is currently burning up movie theater screens from coast to coast. It should be hitting the hundred million dollar mark any minute now. Who would have guessed?

If you’ll recall, it was Johnson who wrote and directed 2003’s poorly received Daredevil movie. I’ve always had a soft spot for the film, despite its many flaws, and when I was in Wal-Mart this past weekend and saw a copy of the Director’s Cut for nine dollars I figured I’d give the movie a second chance.

I guess you’ve already figured out that things turned out well—otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this

Mark Steven Johnson’s cut of the movie (as opposed to the studio’s version) clocks in at thirty minutes longer and nearly every minute of it is put to good use. There’s an extended fight scene in Josie’s Bar that we didn’t really need, and a longer version of the end battle with the Kingpin that we really did need.

The biggest addition is a neat subplot that features rapper-turned-actor Coolio. This leads to extended scenes of Matt Murdock in his civies, using his heightened senses to investigate leads and hunt for clues in order to solve mystery. The additional screen time helps round out the characters and gives us more to sink our teeth into than abbreviated bullet points.

Another fun subplot that gets put back in involves Wesley Owen Welch, the Kingpin’s second in command, who recognizes the writing on the walls and makes a deal to land butter side up when the Kingpin’s empire crumbles. This explains why the cops are coming to arrest Kingpin after the end of his slugfest with Daredevil. In fact, it’s not until you see the extended version do you realize exactly how many gaping plot holes were left unaddressed. (I don’t know about you, but when I go to see a superhero or crazy super action adventure film, I try to keep my mind as open as physically possible. You have to be willing to grant huge doses of forgiveness in order to enjoy the movie to any degree. I just bite the bullet and take the good with the bad.)

If you sorta liked the Daredevil movie and have thought to yourself all these years that maybe it wasn’t as horrible as you remember it—the extended cut is for you—it’s exactly for you!

Enjoy.

Who knew?

One of my most favorite things in life is talking about myself, but I've been so busy that I simply haven't had the time.

I guess it beats the alternative. You know, I was mad about not having any shoes until I met a man who had no feet.

I'm pretty sure that the chief medical examiner on the series CSI doesn't have any feet. I think his legs end just below his knees so whenever he’s standing he’s constantly balancing himself on his prosthetic legs. Not that long ago people with artificial legs used to try and hide that fact, but not anymore--especially if they have one of those new state-of-the-art legs that is mostly a piece of curved metal. They also have really skinny ones that consist primarily of a rod and shock absorber-type piston.

When I was a kid one of my dad’s brothers was missing a leg and he hated like hell to wear his artificial one. I guess he wore it when he went somewhere, but when he was home drinking beer and watching the Cubs play on television, he didn’t see the point of strapping it on.

There was another person from my childhood who was missing a leg that made quite an impression on me. When my mom would take us shopping on a Saturday or Sunday up and down Michigan Avenue, we would always park our old Buick in the same parking lot. It was adjacent to Gately’s People Store, and it made perfect sense to park the car there because it was always our last stop for the day, so we could finish our shopping and walk out the back door to pile in the car.

Anyway, there was almost always this same fellow who sat on the sidewalk in front of People’s Store. He had either one or two pink prosthetic legs—but it was hard to tell because of his long pants. He always wore the same light blue pinstriped suit and he had a hat that sat one the sidewalk in front of him filled with pencils and loose change. This was in the mid to late 1960s and lots of soldiers were coming home from Viet Nam missing assorted body parts.

I always wanted to buy a pencil from the guy, but my mom would always steer us clear of him, as if losing limbs was catchy. I remember being intrigued by this guy’s cleverness. A.) He was well dressed. B.) He lost his leg(s) fighting for the US of A. And finally C.) He was offering something useful for any donation you might want to make. As far as I could tell, his system really worked—his hat always had plenty of quarters and dimes in it.

I remember for a while the homeless in NYC were ‘selling’ some sort of newspaper. I guess the way it worked was in exchange for a buck or a couple of spare quarters you would get a copy of the Bum’s Daily Gazette. That’s not a horrible idea. I wonder if I could wander the streets ‘selling’ copies of my very own daily newsletter? Hmm. That’s such a good idea I’ll bet someone’s already done it.

Duty calls and I must answer, otherwise it will keep calling until I grab it by the collar and smash it into wedding cake.

Talk wit you soon.